Not enough swearing to sound like me I'm afraid Mr Brown - and i would NEVER EVER say GAAAH - its crap!

Oh, I've not sworn yet.

Fuck

The Other Festival has been cancelled til next year!

Oh no!

This is really bad news for two reasons:

1) I was really looking forward to it, it was going to be fucking brilliant.
2) I was using it as an incentive to get fit; "I'm going to lose weight so I look good at the Other Festival, etc". Now it's been cancelled. I hope this doesn't mean I am going to be fat forever.

Balls.

Well my life's just a desolate wasteland, what am I going to use as my 'thing to get in shape for' now?

I guess I could just say 'June'. Doesn't really cut it though, why would you need to be fit just cos it's June? I need to book a holiday or something, somewhere where sun bathing will be required.

I hate sunbathing anyway.

Gaaah!

Oh well, I also have a stinking hangover and I'm really tired but can't sleep cos it's the middle of the afternoon. Today sucks.

Tomorrow's Monday, that's alright then...

I sound like Stu in this blog don't I? I'm not though I'm still me.

I think.

Last night at band practice was the shit. We rocked. The new songs are sounding the fucking bollocks, we're looking to unleash them at Pop in a couple of weeks which will be brilliant. Half the set made up of new songs!

Off to see Fleeing New York tonight, a hotly-tipped band from the south coast somewhere, Southampton maybe. Bill's a big fan but I haven't heard any of their stuff. Looking forward to popping along though. It's at the Purple Turtle in Camden which we are playing at a Glasswerk gig in May which will be the tits.

And funny cos we were saying last night that we should get a London gig in May then this morning we were offered one! Funny how that happens sometimes...

Anyway, so that's that. Just a short post today, thought it would be better to have lots of shorter posts to keep the blog ticking over rather than sporadic longer posts.

Might be wrong though!

Some excellent gigs coming up, see ya down there...

Hey hey hey!

Uncle Stu is back! Its quite worrying when I have to read the blog to remind me what the hell I'm doing!!!

But I am digging the T shirts, can't wait to actually get my hands on one tomorrow! They are good in the sense that Birthdays are sorted this year!

I don't actually have too much to say, but I will blatantly plug my very own blog while I'm here, where you'll find "When Idiots Attack - what happens when you piss off Allah", "Tower Hamlets Dumbest Criminals", and my favourite "TV's Unfunniest Freaks" All in Drummer Stu's Padded Cell.....

Stu's waiver - content may be offensive to anyone who believes in anything, stupid people and parents of dead freaks. (but it's OK, its an characature, not actual representation of anyones actual views...)

So band practise tomorrow...woo!

Done and Done, who's turn now?!

Continuing Bill's 'eighties movies as a metaphor for life' theme, a particular scene has been flashing through my mind quite a bit recently. I'm sure you all remember that great film 'Short Circuit' where Robot No. 5 (or Johnny 5 as he becomes known in the sequel) gets struck by lightning and comes 'alive'. The scene that has been playing out through my brain recently is the one where he is in Stephanie's garden learning about grasshoppers and accidentally jumps on the grasshopper and kills it.

At this point Stephanie scolds No. 5 for its (his?) carelessness and complains that the grasshopper is dead. Death is a foreign concept to No. 5 who can't understand why the grasshopper cannot be fixed; 'reassembled'. I feel I have been having this conversation a lot recently.

The grasshopper is dead. You can understand why it happened, what went wrong and even how to fix it, but the thing is and will always be dead.

The grasshopper in this scene is a great metaphor for a wide variety of things..!

Well I think so anyway. And I'm sure we all have had occassions during which we have struggled to understand or explain the death of something or other to someone on the other side of the conversation. Works both ways you see?

The monopoly board pub crawl ended in failure, we completed 18 out of 26 pubs before we ran out of time, people dispersed and it all went pear-shaped. Was a bit ambitious to attempt it with that many people, was a good effort though...

Never mind, it was good fun trying. And after all; 'if at first you don't suceed...' so we shall try again soon.

Band practice tomorrow, can't wait!

Instrumental Section (26 seconds) - karaoke flashback.

This time last year we were on tour. A very depressing thought. It's the spring (if you can call this spring) half term and rather than rampaging around the country rocking unsuspecting citizens to their very core three quarters of us are at work, the remainder being shacked up in Leeds.

RUBBISH!

We have got some good gigs coming up and even more in the pipeline waiting to be confirmed so it's not the empty desolate wasteland it might appear to be. Also the new songs are coming thick and fast, hopefully when we reconvene on Monday at rehearsal we shall remember how to play them. We have an interview with someone from an internet magazine next weekend and hopefully a photo-shoot the weekend after that, so at least I won't forget what my bandmates look like and we shall have the opportunity to muck around a bit...

This weekend is the Monopoly Board Pub Crawl weekend! Kicking off at 11.00 am on the Old Kent Road and taking in 26 pubs as we work our way around the monopoly board, a pub at each location on the board, or as close as we can come to it. This time tomorrow I will be necking my first drink on the way to ultimate glory and inevitable oblivion. I hope I get up early enough tomorrow to have breakfast first or could be VERY messy by mid-afternoon. I think there will be about 25 of us tackling the crawl so should be very funny, very messy and generally carnage.

Nice...

How do you follow that? I expect to be a complete mess all Sunday so that's pretty much the weekend written off. I went to the gym on Wednesday night for the first time in ages and now my right shoulder really aches. It better be alright by tomorrow, that's my drinking arm! If I can't use it I'm fucked!

I now have in my house a cardboard box containing 60 Pearly T-shirts! They are quite cool and have made me giggle. They are black with the Pearly logo on in white and blue. I'll try and put a picture in...

Probably won't work though.

Never mind.